by Darren Hound - 23rd January 2016
Yeah, yeah I know, I’m a day late with this, some would say I’m a victim of flu, others would suggest I have been hit with the worst disease in the history of man… even worse than being a Chelsea fan. I jest of course, it’s not that bad. But seriously I have been bed ridden for a day or so now, told the missus to send for Duffy from Casualty. Is Duffy still in that? Actually is Casualty still a tv show? Robson Green used to be in Casualty didn’t he, you know the half of Robson & Jerome that didn’t go on to be in Game of Thrones. “Hey Jerome, when this old world starts getting you down, and people are just too m….”, “Sorry Robson, can’t sing right now, I’m busy filming the biggest tv show in the World, you take care with your little fishing programme.” Poor Robson Green, he was always my favourite out of the pair, not in that way, it wasn’t a man crush or anything but he was still my favourite.
It’s Royal Rumble weekend! My favourite of all the Wrestling events, I remember staying up until silly o’clock as a kid desperate for my boy Tugboat to get the job done. Obviously now I realise it’s scripted and Tugger was never a top guy, that fucker Hogan always got the push. Loved the 1992 Rumble though, even if a non-Wrestling fan you should watch that one, Heenan on commentary, the ‘Nature Boy’ on top form, of course Hogan tried to steal the spotlight but still a great Rumble. In preparation for this one I’ve been watching Shinsuke Nakamura videos on repeat, he’s my new favourite and he hasn’t even debuted yet. Speaking of the Rumble, big thanks to everybody who read my ‘Wonderkid Royal Rumble’ piece, it had good views and nice feedback. Someone asked why that particular player was allowed to win, as if it was a real thing, told him he needed the push going into Wrestlemania.
So what’s been happening in the World, well it’s been chuffing cold is what. The other night we got down to -4, blimey I swear it gave me an ‘innie’, talk about shrinkage. Super Sunday happened again and was awful yet again, one goal in two games, two drab as fuck games at that. Makes me really appreciate the Spanish football when that comes on after. All the Spanish big boys went buck wild last week, goals left, right and centre. My particular highlight of La Liga is watching Ronaldo have a little sulky strop when one of his team mates scores instead. What an ego that guy has, my word. Speaking of La Liga, Javier Mascherano was sentenced to a year in prison for tax reasons, won’t serve a day of it mind but was still sentenced. Messi is being charge with similar offences, now is it just me being a big cynic, but it does sound like the prosecution could be Madrid fans.
The Neville boys are still looking for their first league win at Valencia, anyone else feel sorry for Phil Neville? He always gets referred to as Gary’s brother, same with Tracey Neville. Even though she is coach of the England netball team she is still referred to as Gary’s sister. It’s like the Bee Gees, Gary is the leader, you know the one who looks like a lion, and the other two are always in the background. I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to suggest he clothes and feeds his siblings, possibly even suckles them like the big lion Bee Gee that he is.
Anyone wonder what happened to Jack Grealish? Remember when he was going to be a big thing and there was that ‘which country will he play for’ bollocks, apparently he’ll play for none, because he’s bang average. Great hair but bang average. Thought for a minute he was going to get one of those dirty international caps, you know to stop a player playing elsewhere even though they aren’t good enough yet. Carl Jenkinson got one, and Zaha, hey even the Spanish gave one to Munir. Rumour has it that Adama, you know the Aston Villa lad, was going to get a dirty cap last year. He’s injured yet again now isn’t he, looks quality, but can’t run more than 20 yards without pulling up. He probably got his legs from the same place as Danny Sturridge that lad.
Some Italian bloke who I’d never heard of took over at Swansea, can only end well that appointment. Was going to do some research on the fella but spotted my Allo Allo collection calling me from the DVD shelf, yeah I have a DVD shelf why you gotta judge? I’m not ashamed to admit I watched about 5 series of that this week, you really can’t beat it, they don’t make programmes like that anymore. Now tv is just full of idiots trying to dance and sing hoping to become an overnight star, I was shocked to hear that Big Brother is still on too, blimey. People really do watch a load of shit these days. Royal Rumble 1992, Allo Allo and Game of Thrones, that’s all you need for a fulfilling life.
Speaking of a load of old shit on tv these days, Sky have started promoting ‘Transfer Deadline Day’. The yellow ties, the silly expressions, the look of self-importance and the implication that they are all bigger than the sport they comment on, yep it’s all coming soon. I’ll probably have a little rant about that next week.
Anyway that’s all from me this week, apologies if this is shorter than usual, which is one of my better chat up lines, but I have a major illness remember. Next week I’ll be up on time and ready for the fight, hopefully the Rumble is a classic this weekend and my boy Nakamura makes his debut. That will all be in next week’s ramble. Take it easy people.